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Hey all...

This past week as been, well…spiritually challenging, again a test of my trust and patience. The other evening a situation come up and I was praying and some what confused by things and the spirit gave me a sense of peace and the thought…I am working, you need to trust me, came to mind.

It is funny…all I talk about in my blog anymore is how I need to learn trust. Well ya think that I would have by now. Yeah not so much.

I think it boils down to the idols in our life’s and how that is why we continue to sin, because we don’t see that our idols ARE idols and that we are continually trying to live our life’s the way that WE want.

I was talking to a friend the other day and she gave me this verse, Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

What this verse says to me is…we need to focus our hearts and minds on what Christ is calling us to do. Granted, half the time we might not know what that is That is where we need to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us and that God’s will be done in our life’s.

this way or that way

Good Tuesday Morning Happy Campers!

Another Tuesday is upon us. I actually made it to church up in Greeley. A much needed ‘back to reality for me.’ I haven’t been up to Greeley in about a month. Just seemed like every weekend for the past month I had something going on….starting WAY back on the 17th of October…had a meeting on Sunday. The next weekend had a Con to attend. Next weekend, had the Wings Over the Rockies Halloween event..and then I had to be here at work due to Staff Appreciation Sunday….fun times there.

SO, FINALLY a month later I make it to St. Patrick, which is my home church. Shane was gone this past week, however Mark Shiebe continued on the subject of The Mystery of Marriage. SO, of course I was so excited to hear such a sermon. It seems when I have that attitude and the sermon ends up really speaking to me.

I came away with two things, one of which was the summary, which was: Unless we accept the Truth that God loves us so much to forgive our sins and redeem us through His Son, Jesus, on the cross, we will not find out the power and the mystery marriage deserves and intends for us. As we do accept this, we find that repentance and grace will uncover great mysteries from one another in marriage.

Some of you might be thinking…Melody you are not married, how does that relate to you? Well, let me tell you. I think that all of us need to realize that God loves us so much, more than we can even imagine and that through Him we are redeemed. Yes we are still sinners…Oh heck yes. However, we can look towards Christ and ask Him to show us our sins.

I have found that my biggest sin that I struggle with, which is what MOST of us struggle with is being in control. It is funny, there are certain areas of my life where I have been going down a path and I get to a point where I am like “Ok, God, I am done with this.” He comes back to me and says, “No, you aren’t.” I never cease to be amazed on how God answers our prayers, EVEN when it is NOT what you want to do.

Sooo, back to the sermon. Something Mark said, he said most people are looking for people who are perfect with no problems or issues, etc. etc. Basically, what he said that just isn’t going to happen.

Which was funny…I had a conversation with a girlfriend a week or so ago about this. She was speaking of her and her husband and relating it to my life. We had been discussing a situation and she looks at me and says…this is God getting you to trust Him. I asked her. “Have you been reading my blog?” Well..she hadn’t. She spoke of how her and her husband grew together, they each had their issues and how exciting it was that God used each of them in each others life’s to help them each of them grow and how they were still growing.

It was encouraging to me. I think it is safe to say that one day I would like to get married. However, I find it exciting to know that you don’t have to be perfect to get there and that God can use someone in your life to help you become the person that He is calling you to be.

I honestly get so frustrated at times, I honestly feel as if I am doing what God is calling me to do. Not only through my own prayer life, but through others who are in my life, sharing and walking with me. I guess my biggest question has been and still is…and you want me to do this why?

I was talking to Deborah today and she was sad she wasn’t going to get to Rome due to her illness…I said, well you know that there as to be a reason. She said, “Yes, though I may never know it.”

I think that is how it is with most things in our life's. We might never know what God's purpose is, However, I think what God is trying to teach is Do we really trust Him and that His will is what is best for us?

I just read a question from the ‘Captivating’ Bible study. Which would you rather have, happiness on your terms or pain and suffering with Him?

What would you honestly answer?

do what you are told!

Today is Tuesday so I better get cracking on the blog.

Well….it has been an interesting week. Last week we did the DVD release…which I will be posting some pictures. I have a new costume as you can see.

I am going back and forth a lot lately. I guess that goes with trust and not trusting. I had a good talk with a friend last week about what God was doing in my life. (playing catch-up) and they say to me. God is trying to get you to trust Him. I was like HAVE you been reading my blog?

It was really a confirmation of..Melody, you are were you need to be. It just drives me nuts.

So Sunday, I was out doing some thrifting, which I am the queen of, amongst other things. Found a really nice jacket type item. ANYWHO…I looked over and there was a family sitting in this SUV..nothing to out of the ordinary. I just started looking at my life and where God had me…and it was like, you know, I know that You have everything under control, but I don’t like being here. I feel as if I am ‘waiting’ for the next stage of my life.

A lot has happened this past year and some of you know and most of you don’t. Just been a struggle and learning to accept things that I have no control over. Things that I feel that should have had a different outcome, why did this have to happen and why did that have to happen?

I think it is the same old same old with me. Do I trust God? Yes, yes I do…or I would have lost it quite awhile ago. It is like I said in an email to a friend of mine yesterday. “You know…I love God…and I know that He has everything under control…but man oh man. I do feel like Sarah….the end seems bleak, but you know that it is there, yet at the same time…it is like GOD HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU GOING TO BRING THINGS TO PART?”

Well…I guess the only answer it is in HIS time and when things DO come to part…that it will be of HIS doing and not your own. How encouraging is that? How much does God love us that He loves us despite of ourselves?

I am seeing my sin more and more everyday…how I want to be in control…yet, I am not in control. If I believe that God is the Lord of my life…than it isn’t mine anymore, nor is it yours.

Trust me, there are things I have been doing lately, that if I had my choice, I would be running the other way. You have to do what God tells you, even it is isn't the easy choice.