spiritual update...are we in God's way?

I haven’t really blogged on what is going on with me spiritually and that was basically the whole point of this blog, so I think considering what has gone on the past week this would be as good as any.

You know there are times in your life where you are pushed and pushed and then you just seem to have a melt down. Welll, I had one of those this weekend. Bless my friends. Actually, God bless my friends, Andrew & Zac, they got the brunt of it.

I think a person can take so much in a short period of time before they loose it. J ha ha I know we have all had our moments of desperation. I think for me it is a couple of different factors. Just everything that has gone on the past month and a half, teeth issues, surgery, getting pulled over, having my wallet stolen and then loosing the other half of that.

Those sort of things add up over a period.

I have discovered something about myself as well. Some of my friends says I push to hard for things. Ya know, it is this thing about pushing to see how far I can push people…so eventually I will push them away. Whether it is for something or against something. Just how much will a person take from me before they can’t handle it anymore? Then when they have had enough, they just go to prove what I have always known that everyone lets you down and that you can’t trust anyone.

I have had some HARD truth lessons this week. I never realized I was that type of person. I would push someone into a friendship or relationship until they had enough or when I had some people actually tell me they needed me in their life. Push them out because that was too much or not something I had dealt with before.

You might be wondering…why are you blogging on this? This is a bit on the personal side. Because I realized that you can’t run from your past and you can not let it control you. As a Christian I need to hold firm to the truth that Christ loves me and that no matter what anyone has done to me in the past, I need to trust HIM. He has brought me to this place in life. HE is the one that has brought people to me and put them here.

I am just grateful that God is merciful and that He has put people in my life who DO love me and are those people who I have pushed and yet are those same people who given me grace. Poor Maria, gets about 15 texts a day from me whining about something or another. Yet, she and I both know that God has given us a good friendship and we help each other.

So somethings to think about…think about yourself and what things do you see yourself doing to “protect” yourself. Are those the things that God is really calling you to do? Is it hindering your relationships with others? So there ya go.